The world: in or out or straddling?

Was going to blog about something John Wesley said , but instead we have that most welcome of all blog entries, the personal expression of confusion over something we don’t understand.

Please note this is more of an attempt to think through an issue rather than attack anything in particular; so if you are offended , I didn’t mean it. I think you’re great.

The issue – for as long as I can remember people have been telling me about a ‘new generation that God is rising up to INSERT ASPIRATION HERE’, and hence we should plunge resources into Youth work. I have many friends who do much youth work, and it manifestly and obviously NEEDS to be done. But I wonder if we write off the current generation too quickly?

If God truly is the God ‘capable of immeasurably more than we can every ask or imagine’ who has ‘incomparably great power’, then God can do lots of things with lots of people lots of the time. Like, now. With me and You. Wherever we are.

I guess this taps into something deep in me – how appropriate is it for a person to be fully immersed in the Christian scene from a work point of view, as opposed to being in the world with all its challenges and inspirations? I can’t see myself working full time for church again at the moment - purely because I feel I learn so much from working where I work. The Christian bubble is a safe place, but it’s also a stifling place. Could I ever be a full time worship pastor?

I mean, just imagine that you had to only listen from now on to Christian Music. I might cry.

I have just come back from a conference where I was working with an NGO who encourage us all to make a difference one life at a time, which is totally spot on. We all have a part to play in changing the world for the better in small ways. But I am more and more convinced that some of us must stand to change to world in massive ways. Like Wilberforce and slavery, or Tutu in South Africa and apartheid. Global and local as the saying goes.

Where does youth work fit in to this again? Hmm - well I guess if I look at the mess my dad’s generation got the world into, and the mess we’re leaving for my potential kids, then I could get very pessimistic and see the new generation as my only hope. Does lack of hope in me and my own generation drive me to look to the next as my saviour?

I think working with people one – on – one is completely necessary. We need youth workers, we need pastors and all the rest. But we also need people who will ‘purify their inner lives’ and wrestle with living out God’s message of the return from exile through JC in the hardest places. By that I mean the DVLA, the MOD, multinational companies, the UN, the academy …

Example: Hugely successful city trader jacks job in to work with street kids and the poor, teaching them about financial responsibility and offering hope. What a sacrifice, we say. When asked whether he thought about staying where he was a working against the macrostuctures and powers that keep people in financial bondage for freedom, he said “you’ll never change that”. Is it just me or is there a fear that drives us to seek manageable and obvious short term results just because to stay and fight e.g in the trade sector for your whole life is just too hard? Or is it that the comfort he had as a byproduct is seen with suspicion? Most full time Christians have at some point lived ‘by faith’, which really means ‘by the faith of other Christians who have money’ . Both the giver and the receiver are blessed by participating in God’s plan – I have no problem with that, and I’ve been on both sides of the equation. But at any given time a certain proportion of the Church must be in gainful employment (in the UK at least church work is far from gainful!) – my point being that they aren’t there to give their 10% and be miserable while the real Christians get on with it, but to serve and worship with their entire lives, just so happening to deserve a wage because of their labours.

In short : not everyone is called to be a full time youth worker, or a full time worship leader, or a full time professional Christian. It is much more likely that the highest calling we can all aspire to is to act justly, love mercy and walk humbly with our God, demonstrating God’s love to a hurting world wherever we are, proclaiming Jesus as the Lord of all the powers and structures. In short (again), to love the Lord with our whole mind heart soul and strength.

Good grief. What nonsense.

Le weekend

Well boys and girls it was another EPIC

Friday night the world's worst wedding band re-formed for our first gig, practice was fune, then Ana's party with loads of fuse and assorted crew.

I was lucky enough to have Dave Small and the Oldskool staying with making for many a jovial and unexpectedly deep moment.

Saturday was an interesting day to say the least - started at ten with a Mahusive brekker at havana avec Oldskool, Small, Zellis, Birched warlord, James (sorry no nickname), Tim Kidd and Listeroff

So we all then roll up to ADH to set up full PA in a garden . . .fairly challenging one might assume and it was – I bailed when it came to the lights. No idea, didn’t want to burn the place down!

So benily got married – besotted couple 1.0 . all very sweet.

Things went downhill for me when I stepped up to start the BBQ’s and blew a spark right into my eye, burning the cornea – ow. Zoe and Kirsty diagnosed; off to the eye hospital where Zoe was just lovely, fetching water keeping me entertained and eventually using all the doctor’s toys to look into my eye . . . so that’s why she wanted to some! Anyways we got back in time for speeches, and then came the gig.

It all went so quick – suffice it to say that using the vocoder on the s club seven tune running straight into Billy Jean will go down in wedding band legend for sure. Everyone was well up for a party – such a good atmosphere. Johnny D steeped up to help recreate some after april love with john B Goode -.

Negative would have to be having zero time to schmooze and capitalise on this performance – due to need to pack up PA and turn garden from gig venue into garden. Never mind. We’re trusting in God for that side of things. . . .

This one's for all the doubters up in the place

Astoundingly as it may seem to me, some poeple do not consider climate change to be a moral issue that the church should address, stating taht the church's mission is to Isaiah 61 the whole place, preaching good news to the poor etc. Others, most notably bible belt right wing US evangelicals, but not exclusively these , consider that since the earth is essentially a horrid and evil place fom which we wil be liberated , addressing climate change is not important.

According to new research by Christian Aid, 182 million people in sub saharan Africa could die from disease directly related to climate change.

1 - 8 - 2 MILLION poeple. Say it. Try and count it.

E.g.#1 Tanzania; risign temperatures enable malaria carrying mosquitoes to spread and survive in more regions.

This is before we consider the twin threat of drought and famine to a subsistence community.

In short, I propose that we stand up and realise the ecological debt we owe to the developing world, that which we burdened the planet with when we devleoped unchecked throughout the industrial revolution, and campaign as hard as we can to bring God's equity to this situation as we have over third world economic debt.

Your status in Christ does not guarantee you a middle class existence.

Matt

LBF ramblings part one

It always was going to be an interesting week – though I guess I never fully expected anything other than to be joining in with what God was doing, and to be grateful for whatever part I was invited to play.

I reckon this week has been a significant one for me personally – particularly on Thursday when I felt very very looked after and cared for by God. I literally couldn’t go anywhere that day without people wanting to pray for and with me for a few things.

Leading in the mornings was just an amazing privilege - and thank goodness that temperatures fell from their peak on Wednesday: we don’t need 1m wide pools of sweat at our feet every time we lead worship thank you very much. Things really peaked on Saturday morning with some facedown humbling before Jesus going on, and I reckon that people were linking the faithfulness God was showing out in the streets to what they experience personally. Result: very easy to lead people in worship. Pride is the biggest thing that stops us worshipping God, and gratitude is the soil in which pride cannot easily grow.

On the pride thing – needed to hear that message Thursday night. What things in your life god is asking you to do is your pride stopping you doing? Woh. Prayed that God would show me what I needed to do as I laid down my pride and asked him in again, and my phone rang RIGHT then with someone I REALLY needed to be honest with, just before they flew to Bolivia for a month. Awesome.

You know what? God loves it when we give stuff away. Its not ours, after all. We’re not called to hoard kingdom things for ourselves. On Saturday yfriday were leading worship – 7 years ago a me with much more hair and only two months guitar experience was asked to lead one song in the middle of a seminar by Yfriday – the first time I ever lead worship anywhere. And seven years later I’m leading at the same festival; God is just incredible! Big up to Ken for inspiring me in the way these things should be; our success is judged by our successors.

Word and shout out to Shon who continues to amaze me with his dedication and sacrifice in the hardest time.

I really think working together has brought us fuse peeps closer,

I sensed something for the longterm on the way home last night – I felt something of a stranger in my own neck of the woods. Hmm. Maybe some late night driving and praying is needed.

Matt

sayonara sweetheart

well i guess this is it for a few days. I have so much going through my head, my phone hasn;t stopped ringing though I guess its nothign compared with G&hOLLY AND smiffy

i hope to emerge unscathed to bring som funky stuff down for Benwedding

matt

I may be sometime ...

Appreciate all of y’all’s prayers next week. God has been providing for me all over the place – like my boss giving me three days off as paid leave for community work after being flyered at Christ Church – and I’m getting nicely excited at the prospect and the privilege of leading the LBF crew into God’s presence to thank and enjoy him for He has done and yet to do.

Every morning I will be leading some worship with Hannah Atkins alongside Philip Jinadu speaking in the big top. Should be awesome.

Anways – I’ll be living with Caddick and James at their pad in south Bristol for the week, which will be very cool, again another unexpected blessing.

However, I am in the middle of a bit of slump in motivation and productivity, I really don’t feel on it at all. I’m trying to settle down in my life, but something in me is screaming for new things, to move on and face new challenges.

Although I feel that to stick things out for another chunk of time in Bristol is actually the mature thing to do. It might be hard, and there are certainly more exciting things to go and do, and easier ways to deal with ongoing fractured relationships. But I feel God is calling me to trust in him no matter what; Jesus is the Pearl, I keep reminding myself. God didn’t promise me a nice job and nice friends and a role in church in exchange for my loyalty. He offers me the pearl of great price if I ‘liquidate my assets ‘ for Him. I need the joy of my salvation restored to me. Above all else I feel there is work yet to do, and a Matt shaped hole in the Kingdom work in this city. I have the loving support of some fantastic leaders and mentors who I trust – and I feel looked after and challenged constantly. I remind myself it hasn’t always been this way in my life, and I am very grateful.

Its probably a sign of my discomfort and desire to run away that I’m not really abounding in love or good works just at the minute. Hopefully next week will change that.

Final word: Giving thanks is a worthy thing to be looking to do all the time – thanksgiving and gratitude are the soil in which pride does not easily grow.

Word to ur muthas and bruvas

Things move on

I am no longer an assistant, but an ethical researcher in my own right.

This feels very good and very odd. In my head I'm still twenty; in reality im nearer twenty five.

The hair is going on the weekend.

Matt

mantra

PAST≠FUTURE

Venting: Pros and Cons

I have been in some proper moods with myself this week. Letting myself and God down fairly regularly, then suddenly being graciously lifted. It's all very odd.

Anyways - I vented my frustrations at myself at others. Firstly some music friends , then over at the Kollektiv.

The thing is, I don't really regret it. I've been superficially dealing with some stuff that runs deep - this way has exposed those things to the light.

I was praying and worshipping with Marts yesterday - which has been a quality little God initiated thing in any case - and before he came round I don’t think my bedroom curtains had been open in a week or so, and my room was a state.

So I tidied up and let the gorgeous evening sun in, and we had a quality time just looking to God and sharing our hopes and fears. But it was an image of what God wants to do in my heart - pull back the curtains, let the light in and He'll inspire you to do some tidying up. My room has too often been the place of secrecy; whilst everyone needs time and space to themselves, more hours than not have been spent in there just doing nothing feeling low.

Two things to finish; read James 1 this morning. Perseverance must finish its work in you, a very timely reminder. Secondly , God is not in the business of crushing people. A bruised reed He will not crush and smouldering wick he will not snuff out. Actually, a broken heart and a contrite spirit are the sacrifices of God.

Bless you my brethren; Biscuits are proof that god our Father loves us and has given us eternal comfort and a wonderful hope.

M

My two pence on the nuclear debate

I am not so profoundly anti-nuclear as some I encounter, even if naming the technology 'Carbon neutral generation' is a false statement, and even though the private sector will fund the new build and then mysteriously be short of cash having given it all back to shareholders once it comes to decommissioning and thus the Government WILL bear the clean up costs ....

My real problem is this. You don't give a dying man a nice pain killer so that he can continue harming himself - similarly nuclear is like giving a dying man a pain killer. The assumption will be made that 'we've solved climate change' by building more nuclear power plants. I'll bet money that CO2 emissions will increase as a result of this decision.

Far better to invest the hideously large sums of cash being planned for nuclear new build and Trident replacement on incentives for microgeneration and offshore renewables. It would have sent a message too - a message that this is serious problem.

Matt

Look, things CAN change

All US military detainees, including those at Guantanamo Bay, are to be treated in line with the minimum standards of the Geneva Conventions.
The White House announced the shift in policy on Tuesday, almost two weeks after the US Supreme Court ruled that the conventions applied to detainees.

President Bush had long fought the idea that US detainees were prisoners of war entitled to Geneva Convention rights.

The defence department outlined the new policy to staff in an internal memo.

Weekend always get me thinking

A wise man once said that you should act your shoe size and not your age.

I am feeling a little off about my age just now - see the Kollektiv for details - but suffice it to say that I seem to have acquired some qualities and roles of someone a bit older than me.

Which begs the question - where have all the qualities of Matt the 24 year old come from if Matt the 29 year old is what people EXPECT me to be when they meet me? Do poeple have an idealised notion of themselves and others which dictates their expectation of age raltive to the impression they gain from conversations?

I'd like to meet the eleven year old who used the phrase 'idealised notions' ...

Oh wait ; that was me

At this point let us allow the wisdom of Aristotle to intervene

"It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims"

Has the world gone utterly stark raving bonkers?

Exhibit A

Musicians include Geraldine Latty, Andy Flannigan, Matt Crossman, Cathy Burton, 29th Chapter, Titus, YFriday, LZ7 and many more

Hmmm. Not sure Andy Flan and the rest of these more than competent artists will be all that happy about sharing a bill with me

My Lovely Housemate Julian and His brand gullibility

Julian is, in many respects, the perfect housemate. Kind, gentle, generous, an amazing chef and man of God.

However Julian likes to buy new and exciting versions of exisitng brands. They are magic to him, sparkling with excitement and 'brave new world' possibility.

However, frequently these new brands are, quite honestly dreadful.

Exhibit A: Muller yogurt Cheesecake flavours. Very nice on their own, when flavoured with aneamic and salty bits of biscuit, awaful

Exhibit B. Lemon and Lime Jaffa ckes: Leaving aside the great nevil road jaffa controversy (cake or biscuit?) these are truly, momumentally disgusting in every way. Not only do they test ones intestinal fortitude, they pollute the entire biscuit tin with their foul odour. a disaster.

However in Julians favour

Exhibit C: The milk chocolate caramel hobnob: Delectable.

Honestly, if it aint broke don't fix it

Tantatlising personal revelations need not apply

Why is it you can feel inexplicably lonely in the middle of all your friends?

Why do people say one thing and do another?

Why can you never trust your own judgement when it comes to matters of the heart?

Going into worship on Sunday night all these thoughts were warring away and making me feel stuck. After a pretty amazing night and a good chat with Chazzle on the way to Thornbury I started to think about God’s faithfulness – there truly is NONE like Him: none so loyal; none so pure hearted; none so encouraging.

Oh the finality of it all

did you ever stop and wonder just how final some decisions are? Like, no hope of ever going back to something?

I don't think any human can cope with that thought - the thought that something is irreversibly set in stone with no hope of redemption of reconciliation. So we hold out at least in some small way in the back of our mind.

Which is great when applied to world problems like thrid world debt or acid rain - but not som much when it comes to relationships.

M

By the way . . .

I am rather glad england are still in the footie as it is taking away from the cricket team's weak, insipid, spineless capitulations to a team they damn near thrashed in the tests.

Im English, and as such i crave dissapointment

Unsure and tentative

Today's main feelings.

Every morning recently I have been walking past King Square just off St Pauls. For a couple of weeks there have been a few people setting up camp there, sleeping in the square. Each morning I wondered about going over and chatting, or maybe telling someone but something stopped me. I guess I thought they couldn't be there much longer. Then they weren't there this morning.

Life is about taking risks when you're unsure I guess. Apply to life especially relationships!
M

Partay ...

If you read this and are over 18 we are having an Independence Day / Joy's brithday party this sat.

Come after the footie to celebrate / drown sorrows (*delete as appropriate)

Joy will celebrating her nation's independence. We will will celebrating that 200 years ago we got rid of them.

American fancy dress - character or stereotype.

M

The curious case of Theo Walcott

With Michael Owen's world cup over, and Rooney barely back from injury, the England squad is left with three recognised strikers.

Well, in fact two. Walcott has yet to feature in this competition, with circumstances dictating a need for experience over youth.

Theo should have come on last night – being the only recognised striker left on the bench. You get the sense, however, that he will play no part in this world cup. I think Sven is incredibly scared of bringing him on and leaving him exposed like a rabbit in the headlights. If he was too scared to do this against T&T, what chance he will risk it against Germany when it really matters? Can you see young Theo being asked to take a penalty? Would you take the chance of crushing one of England’s brightest young stars with the ignominy of a penalty miss?

I think this is one gamble which has gone horribly, horribly wrong. We have effectively reduced ou squad by one player. Ouch. What if the oh – so – inconsistent crouch was to go down injured? Walcott start? No way. Gerrard or Cole behind Rooney … but the whole POINT is that Rooney is one of the best link players around. He and Crouch looked completely at odds yesterday, both dropping deep .

I say one thing. Jermaine Defoe proved himself in qualifying that he had the pace, determination and character to play international football, more so than Walcott at the moment. Yet he is sat at home.

read this and nearly choked

http://www.christianitytoday.com/bcl/areas/smallgroup/articles/061406.html
This has to be the most condescending piece of drivel I've heard for a long while.

Among the most heanous of assumptions made in this article has to be this

Singles in general tend to look out for what's best for themselves and are often not concerned with how those choices affect their lives, or anyone else's.

Turns out singles are human ....

then this :

I love those crazy-messed-up singles ...

yeah. we're all messed up. i don't know any married poeple with porblems. heck I've NEVER even heard of a married christian having an affair, for exmaple, or cheating their partner out of money.

No - it appears that we singles have a lot to answer, being the root of all the problems within church. I guess we should all just sit at home doing the ironing waiting to be married when we'll finally be adjusted enough to relate to normal people.

What utter disgraceful nonsense.

Matt

and relax ....

Everybody just needs to take a breather I think.

Last night we introduced two Americans to the joys of world cup football when it matters. Joy and Mirial (beating us limeys hands down on the name stakes BTW - Tom, Matt and Sam don't really match up) were hugged kissed and generally thrown round the pub as crouchy stooped from his 20ft perch to nod to ball down into the top corner.

but what this post is about is what happened after. the Kookie Kollektiv went back to the Nevil Kommunity house of Love for some mean fajitas. Dani, Claire, Will, Andy, Joy, Mirial, Tom and ultimately Jim and Jules. With the exception of Jules , single people all and loving it. Two bottle of wine, some quality laughs, running up and down the street singing eye of the tiger wrapped in the stars and stripes ...

I am very blessed with some quality, godly friends. We live a very blessed and lavish life, guys. Relax. Blog ends

M

Something to ponder

have been researching for a preach at the fuse.

The bonds of addiction are too soft to be felt until they are too strong to be broken.

Nothing

life without coffee is nothing

a band without percussion this sunday could be interesting

What do you do when you someone likes you more than you like them but you still like them ? What do you DO?

These are the imponderables with which I while away the hours

A man's legs need only be long enough to reach the ground.

M

I love church

Pretty straight forward 'blog this.

I did something that was potentially difficult, and in fact turned out to be difficult, but felt I wanted to support someone else who has helped me out on numerous occasions.

And that person did a great job.

Sam , you were spot on.

Philippians 2:3 (New International Version)

3Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.

I love that church is the place where selfish agendas should dissolve. I felt very rubbish this morning until I reminded myself that worship comes in any triumph of the will to serve God over circumstance. You know what? God LOVES costly worship. And you can't out give the giver of life.

I could have very easily stayed in last night feeling pants. But I felt god nudging me to go - so I went, and had the privilege of leading people into God's presence, and then the really amazing chance to just bless one of my housemates when he was being prayed for by Tim.

If only I could learn this lesson ...

'O what peace we often forfeit, O what needless pain we bare  .... all because we do not carry evrythign to God in prayer'

I'm mature honest

Just keep me distracted and I�m OK. I don�t want to engage with the pain right now. Marx claimed that religion was the opiate of the masses. These days I wish it were that simple � I think technologies as they stand today promote isolationism and self centredness. You�re bored? You shouldn�t EVER be bored! Go buy something, go hire someone �

One of the truest definitions of sin is humani incurvatus se (apologies I only got a B in latin) meaning humanity turned in on itself. Our iPod PS2 myspace blogging dominated world can risk promoting that.

I feel like I�ve grown up a lot. I feel much more like a twentysomething rather than a graduate � and it�s a nice feeling. I never bloody liked Uno anyway. I like coffee and dinner and drinks and meeting with friends who make you laugh and having massive discussions about everything. I like going places and doing things and reading things and writing things. My friendship group has shifted too � I�m often the youngest now. I�ve had countless moments over the last 4 months where people have said "24? You�re 24??" and I think they meant it in a good way.

So bring on the baldness. Bring on the pension. Bring on life. BRING IT ON!

Relationships, compromise and the will

I�ve been thinking a lot about this. Where you have two people there are two wills. There will always be a divided opinion. Where those people are selfishly motivated, then the wills will be in opposite directions, causing friction. Rather than enjoying the coming together of wills as a gift, things then slip into petty power plays over who gets more of their own way.

I think if you get into a relationship, you have to be able to be able (sorry for that little verbal clumsiness) to say �my will NOT be done�. And to be ok about that. And how do we get into this state which Eugene Peterson calls �willed passivity�, but by finding that one relationship has been willed by one who desires never change, who�s love never wavers , who�s goodness endures, who�s mercy never fails ..?

Please, let�s all relax. Let�s seek the best for each other, and not be so concerned about our own paths and visions that we miss the opportunity to serve and worship God RIGHT NOW. If Christ is in me, then Christ in a whole bunch of people in Bristol, the UK and the world, and in history.

Ok so I�m angry for a friend right now � no details, but in the guise of being loving the one was demanding huge sacrifices and controlling the other causing emotional and spiritual damage because the guy just can�t relax and stop worrying.

I got news for us all. God�s name, as Loius Giglio tells us form the bible story of Moses before the burning bush, is I AM. Or more precisely, I AM, that I AM, or �Be�. I Be is God�s name.

So I am not. You can go ahead and put anything in front of that. I am not in control, in charge, the saviour of anyone.

Seriously , your four score years and ten are but a breath. Your career is blink in the eye of God. There�s no marriage in eternity, so let�s not get too het up about it now. Its useful , an oh yeah, its great and fantastic too, but the eternal purpose is to make you more like Christ, �cos Christ�s relationship with church is like that of a bride and bridgegroom. It's a gift. Its not essential.

What matters then? Well, everything you do in Christ, based on his foundation. That sure as anything lasts, see the end of 1 cor as we�ve said before here.

Could it be that loving others as yourself is the key to it all?

Matt

I'll have a P please bob ....

DSC00593
Originally uploaded by derwent_massive.

and other reasons why Sam P is a legend!

f**k

I try not to watch big brother, but I was flicking while the OC was on a break (a real area of weakness. I watch little tv that isn't sport or news, but this is the exception), and found someone using the word f**k as an adjective, verb and noun in the same sentence.

The character described as " the Manc-Chinese Wee Jimmy Krankie" screamed yesterday

"why don't you just f**k off, you f**king centre of attention f**k!"

Now, is it just me or does this not make any degree of sense? I could take offence at being called lots of things, but what is a 'F**K', singular? being called a f**king w**ker at least gives me a starting point from which to wonder what a f**king one of these actually is. It's important - you are a f**k means you are sexual intercourse. It's actually quite surreal ... 

I think she is a student. You will meet people in your life who just LOVE swearing, and love the F word so much that they cannot concieve of expressing something as being important and or annoying without reference ot it. See bridget jones ...

Why I was gutted

seen as I seem to be in a phase of revealing partially hidden truths, here goes:

It was about a girl.

Did you need to ask?

Matt

Specifics of the trouble at t'mill

http://business.guardian.co.uk/story/0,,1776282,00.html

This is my organisations press release in response. I can't explain in public why I was in such a bind on monday - suffice it to say I think prayer helped ease the situation. Come find me at church and Ill explain!

Matt

 

Your report on Shell�s AGM (Shell�s critics come back with a vengeance, May 17) omitted to mention the constructive criticism of the oil giant�s performance embodied in the ethical shareholder resolution initiated by the Ecumenical Council for Corporate Responsibility. ECCR�s resolution was tabled with support from 130 shareholders and the World Council of Churches. Besides the better known cases of Sakhalin and the Niger Delta, ECCR was prompted to act by Shell�s conflict with local communities in Ireland over the Corrib gas project. The company has admitted that it played a role in the gaoling of the "Rossport Five" small farmers for contempt of court last year.

ECCR has had dialogue with Shell since 1997, when it brought the first environmental resolution to a UK company AGM. This year our resolution called for improvements in Shell�s governance and performance in reaching agreement with local communities, in its risk and impact assessment, and in using its social responsibility committee.

Shell marginalised ECCR�s resolution, placing it at the end of an otherwise routine agenda and allowing almost four hours to elapse before the item was introduced. Company chairman Aad Jacobs encouraged out-of-order and in one case a blatantly frivolous interruption from the floor before the resolution was voted.

With the onerous legal requirements needed to bring a shareholder resolution in the UK � unlike the ease of the process in the USA - it is no surprise that not one ethical shareholder resolution was brought in the UK in 2005. Nor that many people are increasingly disillusioned with the failures of voluntary `corporate social responsibility� to deliver urgently needed benefits for disadvantaged communities and the environment.

 

Matt Crossman

Trouble at t'mill ...

Guys,

This is a prayer request for me tomorrow. It's quite hard as I can't really say what I'm doing or where until after the event, but it involves work.

Just be thinking of me about 10am 'til two tomorrow, from strength, wisdom and favour, just some Holy Spirit 'luck' with a few things!

Matt

 

One half caff latte and indefinite detention without trial, please

Starbucks has loads of foodservice locations at US military installations.

It has now opened Starbucks Guantanamo bay.

I am speechless.

Though there is something very imposing in the symbol - the US military superpower working hand in hand with the US retail superpower.
M

Dead ringers

DSC00494
Originally uploaded by derwent_massive.

Matt bee and joel - very scarily accurate portrayal.

Gutted

Gutted.

This is such a great word. Satisfying to say, fantastically apt , almost onamatepoeic in its description.

Right now I feel gutted. Dissaspointed doesn't quite cut it. Miffed is too twee - who says miffed these days in any case? Its only one step from miffed to drat and bother, and then you may as well consign yourself to years of cultural anachronism.

Neither will dashed or bothered do. Gutted it is, and always shall be.

Gutted suggest a down spiral of the orchestra of your life's soundtrack, circling downward, ever downward as the wheels fall off your plans. When the weight of expectation and excitement was too much to bear, to have it taken from you , you think, hey , that was mine!

I think its a geographical thing. Gutted feels gutted because you feel it in your stomach. And in the upper chest. Its like a strange, uncomfortable electricty bubbling just beneath the surface. Hopes dashed . Guuuted. Must resist urge to drink plenty of London pride with gutted ex home office workers.

Matt

Some wisdom from Micah

at various times over the months Ben and I have sparred and agreed about word of faith and other veils for the prosperity gospel.

Ben raised the question - "How do word of faith preachers account for the beattitudes?"- encouraging me to seek some biblical perspectiev. I was reading Micah this morning and it really throws some light on the issue.

Firstly, Micah is a prophet, a covenant enforcement mediator, so sometimes when he preaches, he preaches God's right anger against injustice. We get the feeling that some don't like his negative words:

6"Don't preach," say the preachers.

    "Don't preach such stuff.

    Nothing bad will happen to us.

    7Talk like this to the family of Jacob?

    Does GOD lose his temper?

    Is this the way he acts?

    Isn't he on the side of good people?

    Doesn't he help those who help themselves?"

To which Micah replies :

"What do you mean, "good people'!

    You're the enemy of my people!

    You rob unsuspecting people

    out for an evening stroll.

    You take their coats off their backs

    like soldiers who plunder the defenseless.

And then, the clincher:

11If someone showed up with a good smile and glib tongue

    and told lies from morning to night--

    "I'll preach sermons that will tell you

    how you can get anything you want from God:

    More money, the best wines . . . you name it'--

    you'd hire him on the spot as your preacher!

Read on to chapter 6 and 7 for what god will do after his discipline has been shown. You can''t shortcut your way to harvest and seasons of much and richness, through your best life now or spekaing words of faith into your life. - sometimes the only way is through a cold hard winter, where you are refined, threshed and purified, strengthened in your resolve to follow God. See 4:7 and 4:13, then 7:8 to the end. I'm down, but not out ...

M

Name: Matt Crossman. Specialist Subject: The bleeding obvious

*caution! Geeky rant follows*

Now I don’t wish to be overly critical here, but some things happen in your life that make you want To Scream – on this occasion with the sheer condescension shown by the advertisers of this world.

Exhibit A: Tesco black peppercorns. This, for the culinary challenged is pepper. Plain ol’ common or garden pepper. I know what pepper is. I would wager that around 100% of people are also vaguely familiar with the concept.

The Tesco product informs the consumer that the mystery product carries “A strong and spicy flavour”.

Or, to put it more succinctly, it tastes peppery ….

What next? “clear, refreshing and versatile” for a bottle of water? “Light bulbs – bringing the day to night – Tonight!! “Creamy and succulent dairy juice, ideal for all your breakfast needs, incredible compliment to any hot beverage!!!” ? I’m getting sick of this. What kind of moron do they think wanders into Tesco’s wondering, ‘say what are those little black dealies over there by the salt shelves, I wonder what they taste like?”. You can’t package pepper as a new and exotic condiment – but it scares me that there were probably several over paid advertising execs who had all nighters discussing the next big pepper push, how they are passionate about its spicy and fiery flavours … passionate about pepper. Scary.

Please, everyone, lets encourage free thinking and self discovery. I’m meeting some guys from Tesco on Friday, will be sure to bring it up with them ….

Church and cash

http://business.guardian.co.uk/story/0,,1762127,00.html

Just FYI if you want to understand a bit of what I do. Personally, having been involved in getting a shareholder resolution for Shell regarding their difficultues in Ireland, Nigeria and Sakhalin, am suprised by some of the biggest holdings.

The church commissioners is where the whole ethical investment gig kicked off -http://oxcheps.new.ox.ac.uk/casebook/Resources/HARRIE_1%20DOC.pdf well, that and the Quakers (Stewardship fund being the longest running ethical fund).

It raises questions about emphasis - legally, investment managers cannot be forced to follow a positive agenda if they are to fulfil their fiduciary duty. But if the church comisisoners can care so much about Caterpillar and their activities in Palestine, can't they see the human rights implications of holding the big mining companies?

Last week I heard the phrase 'sustainable mining'. Without wishing to oversimplify, that's just not possible!

Hmmm

Im a geek, so sue me

Matt

PS Ben - patience, dear boy

primary 1 x 1

Square one is a real old friend for me, having been back here on a number of occasions. I am now well versed in its dimensions, in space and time. Smoking a cigar with a whisky and staring into the harbour on the Isle of Wight I felt all my strength fall from me.

Just when you think you've got somewhere, some sideswipe will knock you off course - whether real or imagined. 

Living life is learning to dwell in square one with contentment, or at least without fear. What have you built there? What did you leave there from last time? I don't find solace in detail. Give me something with substance and purpose.

PS Ben I know my next post was supposed to be about Seeker friendliness. It will come!

Matt Crossman

derwent_massive@hotmail.com

matt.crossman@rathbones.com

 

This was stunningly good

The Manchester Passion on bbc 3 - catch it on teleport if you're posh.

They had this massive lightbox shaped as the cross which was carried through the streets of manchester, very powerful symbol.

I love it when stuff like thsi represents Christianity, you know, well.

My only slight gripe would be that they didn't do the execution scene in public buit behind closed doors, as that was what would've happened today. we do our dirty work away from prying eyes. I reckon that that power of the cross is that it seems like Jesus was made a public spectacle of, a broken, bedraggled weak and puny rebel at the hands of the all powerful Rome. in fact Jesus was making a public spectacle of the powers of darkness, triumphing over them (Collosians somewhere).

Jesus said when I am lifted up I will draw all men unto myself - in the Manchester Passion he wasn't 'lifted up'.

BUT it was still absolutely great. I loved it when the risen Jesus was seen at the top of manchester town hall screaming 'I am the resurection and I am the life' by the stone Roses.

M

The research desk

The research disk
Originally uploaded by derwent_massive.

This is where I work. Chaos

Can you have ....

... communion without Jesus? For this is exactly what we had as I visited my friend's church this sunday morning. Here is how the first part of service went:

Worship with some songs, that nobody seemed massively into. A few folk raise hands, most gazed around wondering where the coffee was. Same song for 10 minutes. God really is FOREVER strong ... then we all were told to grab a piece of wool and make a web in our small groups, with a bigger thread linking us all together. Kinda cool - but took too long!

Anyway - then one of the pastors read out a 2 page collection of thoughts about community living which was a little odd. Imagine someone who had pasted 5 blog entries together.

Then , literally, these were the words . Now we're going to have communion. The bread and wine are at the sides. let's have a moment of quiet. Then people went up and took bread and wine. well, grape juice.

And that was it.

No mention of jesus. No mention of the cross. No mention of the core act of remembrance and coummunity expressed. . . if you were a visitor and didn't knwo anything about church, what would you have felt? this is just some poeploe eating bread and drinking grape juice in silnece when there's doughnuts over there. then we alll break for the doughnuts. maybe its something to remind us all about poverty.

What was especially strange was that the talk afterwards was a fantastically deep yet accesible discussion of what the cross means, especially in realtion to final victory over the powers and kingdoms.

After hearing all that, the first thing I wanted to do was take communion!

M

Week whatever

I feel almost well disposed toward the world today.

 

I have a new toy in my hands in the shape of brand new PC, with a wkd flat screen coming in at a whopping 17" . bear in mind this will be doubled by the addition of another identical screen in two weeks' time.

New toys = boy who is happy.

Also, feeling the sun on your face reminds you that somehow the earth is just the right distance away from the sun to make me warm but not fry me to a crisp.

 

Isn't knowledge a weird thing - just knowing someone out there cares about you can affect your entire mood. Need to be careful there though.

How deliciously cryptic.

 

I wonder if there is a point to this 'blog other than to say I think I'm over what I was under. Which now means its no longer ahead but behind. So its below and behind. Week five is nearly over. I don't think there'll be any more weekly updates here. More like the beginning of the rest of the year which is tres bon john.

 

Like I said to Gareth, out of sight, out of mind, then eventually out of heart. In that order

minor rant

Jesus is the absolute living breathing beating heart of everything we do. Without Him we cannot know and serve God. He truly is the centre, the head, of all things. He was the agent of creation (the firstborn) and in Him all things now hold together � he is the divine glue that holds together the old and new creation. He is the one mediator between God and man, the one sacrifice for sins to enable man to be redeemed back into God�s family. We are Christ-ians , followers of the Messiah, the promised one, the chosen one, the anointed one of God to usher in the new age of God permanently dwelling with his people, the one in whom all creation will finally find its consummation and re-creation, in His true Lordship.

This is but the most minscule glimpse of the fullness of the truth and promise we have in Jesus.

Why, then, do we find so many emerging traditions pedalling a non � Trinitarian view of God? Because it�s easier than trying to get your head round the mind blowing truth of the trinity? I don�t know, but it saddens me. I just googled a website of a bishop form Brixton. Among all the self promotion and statements of his various gifts and anointing from God, I found no reference to Jesus. Not one.

Seriously, if Jesus isn�t alive and resurrected, if he isn�t the true Lord of the earth in which all things find their purpose and value, then we are just playing religious games. Shallow ones at that.

I want to scream this morning, its all about Him! He reveals the Father to us, shows us what God is like. Even if you were to never experience anything of God first hand for the rest of your life, you could easily occupy the minutes of everyday for the rest of eternity gazing in awe and wonder at the cross, and beholding the man.

Rant ends. Jesus, be the centre.

Matt

 

Looking and seeing

Mr recent ruminations have been anything but recent. I trace this back to a coefficient which i have identified, namely my desire to blog being proportionate to the level of social and emotional upheaval in my life.

Things have been easing of late, for good reasons and for less good reasons.

I've been really thinking about 'seeing'. Last night I lead 400 or so kids with a song which says 'I want to see you'. Now, no one has seen God. Moses asked for it and God only let all his goodness pass before him, and believe me, that would be more than enough to blow my little mind!

But my readings seem to be emphasising the self revelation of God the Father in the Son. Today it was that beautiful poem in Colossians. Paul writes in thanks for the love and fruit which is showing itself in the new life the Colossians have found, and you ask yourself where it comes from. Then we get the poem, saying he is the image of the invisible God, one in whom the fullness of God dwelt.

If you look long and hard in an attitude of devotion toward Jesus, you see that God is most perfectly defined as deep, self giving Love. God created the Universe out of Love, allowed us life and consciousness out of love, covenanted with us out of love, corrected and disciplined us out of love, rescued us out of love, sent His Son out of love, resurrected Him out of Love, sent His spirit out of Love, sustains us out of love �. I could go on.

In the psalm I read this morning it said that the world is full of God thoughts and God wonders. We just need to tune ourselves into them. For me, this meant standing outside the physiotherapy department allowing the warmth of the April sunrise to soak into me, each fresh breath of God�s air filling my life with beauty. Look at Jesus inwardly, and your outward perspective will change. The world is full of God thoughts and God wonders for those that seek them out.

M

Matt Crossman
derwent_massive@hotmail.com

10 centimetres

For that is what separated Mavis the 205 and a rather sturdy stone wall on Saturday night.

It was very dark, incredibly rainy, stormy and scary driving conditions as I dropped down the Wye valley on my way home from a mate's wedding.

There's music on quite loud, worship stuff so maybe I wasn't giving the road my full attention. The wipers are on full speed, just about giving you enough to see the road.

Im doing 50 mph. I see a left bend, I engine brake down to fourth and turn. I go round the first bit of the bend, and am confronted by a semi flooded stream running over the left hand side of the road.

The left hand side of Mavis runs into this mini lake at 40mph. the right hand side doesn't.

Problems.

Massive skid. There's a car coming the other way. Heart in mouth. Water everywhere, massive splash over front windscreen means light from on-coming car is reflected everywhere, leading to disorientation. Where is that car, where is the road??

Skid, skid skid, steer into skid , control skid, lurch onto wrong side of raod, miss wall , recover onto road and realise what just happened.

Kinda lucky to be here Guys

Matt

I'm not blogging , but ...

... I actually am.

 

I say i'm not doing I shouldn't and then do it.

 

E.g. "I'm not gossiping but did you hear that ..."

 

"I'm not on the rebound, but..."

 

"I'm not criticising, but..."

 

I think the worst, which thankfully I don't do is when people say "No offence, but your head resembles that of a plagued walrus in the height of summer"

 

We need a term for this. Self delusional innapropriate behaviour approval?

 

Matt

My hair: You decide

Gravity appears to be exerting itself in a rather more sustained and concerted manner around the top of my head these days.

I think the time has come to abandon all hopes of having a haircut, 'cut' my losses and go buzzed all over.

What thinkyou, o interchangeable readership of 5 people? Serious suggestions only as this is a deep personal crisis.

M

Was there ever a moment ...

.. when His love failed? When He didn't long for peace, restorations, fulness, life and love to flow in through and to the earth?

Sometimes we describe the nature of God as characteristics. Characteristics can change - a man has a characterisitcs. I was more cynical when I was 15 than I am now. I was much more naive and free-er with affection when I was 19 then I am now. I was more trusting than I am now.

When we look at the world and its problems (poverty, climate change, human rights abuses, social exclusion to name a few), we might ask if God has changed.

Actually, He hasn't (top marks to me for the most obvious theological point blogged to date). we can trust that when God wills and longs for something, he wills and longs for it always, as we see in Jesus who is the same yesterday, today and forever.

God has attributes. Not characteristics. Do we sometimes reduce God to less than He is by making Him more human?

M

Matt Crossman

derwent_massive@hotmail.com

matt.crossman@rathbones.com

 

Whatever people say about me ...

... the truth is much worse

OpTiOn the last

All goes to show that Roy Castle was right - dedication is what you need. Two minutes practice at darts and we bang a one forty!

Cynics

Seems like people only comment when I spill my emotional guts all over the blogosphere or make tantalising personal revelations.

And that's just really sad.

So, break up week three is upon us. I miss week one alot, and don't wish to see the like of week two again in a hurry. Week three is traditionally the week of running away. Which to some extent I'm doing in being in London all weekend, though coming back from 3rd sunday.

Current "This is too hard and it's murder to even see her" contingency plans are, in increasing order of likelihood:

1. Visit Shon in that states, stopping of to spend Easter with Joy's family in Chicago. This became less likely when new glasses bill reared its head.

2. Have 3 month placement in Edinburgh office

3. Take some unpaid leave and go to Prague

4. Visit Ben Herman in Southampton

5. Visit the 'rents in Sherborne

6. Visit the Sportsman pu two doors down and play the locals at darts. I've been winning recently. Come to think of it I'm as much of a local, sharing the same postcode ...

 

Matt Crossman

Yokes and burdens

I just had a feeling that last night was going to be significant, and I was right. Maybe it was just that your expectations get raised when you just know you have to meet with God.

A bunch of us had been asked to lead some quite free / unplanned worship as part of a prayer night at church. A few people had to drop out, leaving me, close and Nigel.

Well, the night itself was very moving. There weren�t many there � say 50, tops, but 50 people who were desperately longing to meet with God, and ask Him to continue to move as He has been in our church recently.

In keeping with the more intimate atmosphere, the language of the songs were more intimate � lots of song of songs imagery and really being swept along by the depth of God�s Love shown in the cross. I really felt songs of love, devotion, service and honour coming out of me.

It was not insignificant that I had Colse beside me. Whatever I have been through recently, painful as it has been and is, I can�t really compare my situation with His. But Dave called us both out, saying that he wanted to pray for and bless us both, as we had such a hard time with human love, but had made the decision to love God in response on that night.

Well, it was just what was required. Several people prayed for me, and said words which echo and resonate exactly what God has been saying to me recently. Namely, that thought the desert place is very real, there is a beauty in the closeness of God in it, as he finds it very easy to dwell in a broken heart.

Then Dave prayed over me one of the most precious truths about God � my favourite verse of late , �a bruised reed he will not crush�, and then he had a picture of this reed being taken and used an instrument for His glory, bringing songs of love to birth which move and challenge those that hear. To experience that was enough for me, but then God really moved me to go and pray for others in room, which was really exciting, just to bless what God was doing.

Then we finished with some songs of joy and declaration.

"It breaks the heavy the yoke, breaks the heavy yoke when you shout , you shout to the Lord"

Others also had pictures of weights which had been chained to my feet being loosed, and me running where once had stumbled and stuttered.

My mood prior to last night was not a good one. Lets not deny what God has gifted us when we feel down and crushed in spirit.

"Whenever we are in need we should come bravely before the throne of our merciful God. There we will be treated with unreserved kindness, and we will find help".

M

Matt Crossman
derwent_massive@hotmail.com

Why I love ...

Cricket

http://www.guardian.co.uk/g2/story/0,,1729392,00.html

http://content-uk.cricinfo.com/rsavaus/content/current/story/240507.html

Imagine you're Chelsea and you scored 14 in the first half. Then lost 15-14. Crazy. How does it feel ricky?

M

Matt Crossman

derwent_massive@hotmail.com

matt.crossman@rathbones.com

 

Inertia (or 'Bitterness Revisited)

Getting nowhere and at a rate not incomparable with that which could be said to exceed standard velocities.

Actually I�m not sure I�m getting nowhere. I think its more a case of revisiting the same 4 moods with monotonous regularity. In summary these four moods are:

1. A sense of relief that a hard and uncertain time is over

2. A sense of futility, wasted effort and hurt.

3. A sense of apprehension about my ability to attract members of the opposite sex with a rapidly retreating hairline and increasing levels of geekiness

4. Conversely, a sense of excitement that there may be girls out there who like cricket, and see it as a titanic struggle with nuanced and subtle changes in mood, atmosphere, the balance of the context swaying to and fro with every effort, of being attacked, having ones attacks repelled, being attacked, defending, counterattacking, re consolidating, charging forward with abandon and the ultimately calling the whole thing off as a draw. To me, a slowly unravelling denouement of power and glory, to some people, dull as paint dry. Go figure.

Like I said to Bob, when I�m forty I�ll care less about being cool and being with a cool lady, and hopefully care more about really getting to know someone, about sharing the ups and downs rather than fearing the worst when things are good and running away when they aren�t.

See you in ten years.

M

Matt Crossman
derwent_massive@hotmail.com

 

Some glimmer of hope

In summary: Girls are weird. So are boys. We are both equally beguiling and enigmatic to the other. If I were simple to understand, then why does my mood have a direct correlation with how Man City played last weekend? Why do I think it OK to take my tiramasu into the pub 2 doors away, not buy a pint and watch TV like it's my front room? I am NOT easy to understand.

Two quotes from the 'Break up week two ' phase are these:

1. Just as it is inadviseable to go shopping for food when you're hungry, don't cast your eyes round the metaphorical supermarket of eligibility when you are a bit needy.

2. "When God decided to make a companion for Adam, I think he also had the idea of a living, walking cryptic crossword. "

This is the glimmer of hope - i used to suck at cryptic crosswords. Those of you who remember my Student assistant days will no doubt recall a sudden urge to be taken seriously which worked itself out through a desire to move from the quick to the cryptic.

Now, two years later, i still haven't finished one, but I make a damn good stab, having come very close a couple fo times. The trick is to learn the tricks and clues.

So are girls like cryptic crosswords? There are similarities - complex anagrams wheere you are expected to see the answer from what's given, weird and obscure references which you are expected to get,

and, of course, the GOLDEN rule of a cryptic crossword: Never, ever believe the literal meaning you are given:  Case in point: Girl answers in response to enquiry after her mental state and general wellbeing -  "I'm fine" (1,2,3,4) or  I'm fine (3,4,10,2,7,2,4,3,3,2,3,5,2,4,3,4)

Possible solutions to this clue, apart from the very obvious, "I am not fine"  could be "you have displeased me greatly in some way, but Im not going to tell you what", or "I've told all my best friends why i'm not fine, I don;t need to tell you, you need to work it out", or , crucially, it could be a double bluff, and she may well, actually be fine.

Side point to any sisters out there - when a bloke says he's fine, read "I havent had time to think about anything serious, what with all the toys and distractions in my life. Say, did you see Thierry Henry last night?"

This is, all of course, nonsense. girls are great, and so are boys. We need each other.

 

Matt Crossman

derwent_massive@hotmail.com

matt.crossman@rathbones.com

 

Perspectives on forgiveness

http://www.guardian.co.uk/attackonlondon/story/0,,1725371,00.html


A local Bristol Vicar has steeped down from her post, feeling unable to preach forgiveness and love while she hurts over the death of her daughter in the July 7th bombings last year.

I just want to say at the start of this potentially contentious blog that I completely sympathise with the situation. I myself have taken steps back from doing public church work when I have felt in the wrong place. I have absolutely no idea the depths of the pain that this woman is struggling, and so I am not commenting on this case directly.

It does, however, raise questions on the question of forgiveness. I’m in the position of needing to forgive and be forgiven. This is very hard to do, especially when you need to forgive someone in your heart when that person doesn’t feel the need to be forgiven. This is not to say I'm right and everyone else is wrong, just that where two poeple's wills are involved, there'll hardly ever be agreement on complex issues.

I’m studying Ephesians just now. The first three chapters have really rammed home the depth of grace, the sheer gift of being called into God’s family. Building on this, we are to ‘rooted and established in love’, the self-giving, self sacrificing love of our messiah, Jesus. This is our ‘root’ - not only a source of nourishment, but something that lends stability and firmness to our lives.

Based on this foundation of free grace and lavish self giving love, we are called to ‘get rid of ..’ many things in chapter four, while putting on the stuff of God. ‘Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, Just as In Christ, God forgave you.

As always, God is the prime mover. While I was dead in my sin, Christ died for me. Sheer grace, pure gift. There was nothing to compel God to rescue me, nothing in me that would make God do such a thing against His will. No, love runs so deep in the heart of God that we are constantly challenged to wonder at its height, length, breadth and depth. His love rescued me, because he values me as His. It’s got a lovely wholeness to it.

If I want to test the depths of this love, I need to put my roots down into it. This means forgiving as Christ forgave me. There is nothing in me that wants to forgive right now, and the world insists that I use my rights and be upset and cynical for a while.

No. Forgiveness is not something we withhold at our discretion. Its something, crucially, we do as worship to God. Anything that lives as a response to God’s movements and action in Love is worship. Freely I’ve received forgiveness. Now freely to give, knowing that I can’t, and He can. Even in the hardest times we can show the world a deeper way of being human, showing signposts to the Good news of the Kingdom.

Let it flow.

Peace,

M

Coming Back

When I've struggled in my own strength
I laboured in vain
Chose to trust in what my hands could do
Instead of looking to you.

With all of my heart I'm coming back to you
Bearing all the scars of failing to trust you
In all of your grace you stoop down to rescue
seeing all the burdens you longed to share

Nothing to be gained by stayling silent
denying all the hopes and fears I keep within
Nothing to be gained by staying silent
God show's His love for me in discipline

To be sung with tears in eyes, like last night on the way home. Nothing like a fresh revelation of God's heart for me....

M

Matt Crossman

derwent_massive@hotmail.com

matt.crossman@rathbones.com

 

Oh... my...goodness

I was just doing a search through some of my diaires and lyrics books for a spark of inspiration. Here is an entry from August last year.

"I see you on your wedding day -

I'm not there"

Oh dear.

M><>

Matt Crossman

derwent_massive@hotmail.com

matt.crossman@rathbones.com

 

A gift

My Nana died three months ago.

Just this weekend I was given a gift by my grandad who survives her, of her
everyday bible.

I have been turning the pages, and all her little notes fell out - well, it
was astounding. The best way I can describe my current situation is summed
by her words at the top of this entry - my winter is a mild one.

" ... for quite a while I felt my prayers weren't flowing truly from the
Spirit, and I've had quite a low time. The Lord has not deserted me, but
I've felt quite isolated and alone. i would wake up and fel a heaviness
which seemed to last all day .... although the Lord was still using me (in
marriage counselling) I felt very lonely, insecure and very sorry for
myself.

"Today I was led to think back over my life and note down the good and bad
things, and I could see that the times I was being used to the greatest
effect were when I was in this isolated position. This made me realise that
i hadn't seen the HOPE in the desert situationm, that in God's creation
winter is always followed by spring.

"So that's the hope from the desert - the winter time may be lonely hard and
unhappy, but we must look ahead in HOPE knowing spring is waiting for us.

God is at work in the winter times; spring will burst soon.

Matt

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Sod it or blog it

Sometimes in life we are just not in control. This should be a permanent mental attitude for the Christian, at least in some senses, in terms of believing that God has and has always had the whole of human history in His hands. Things are on track for the kingdom of God right now.

But in the detail certain situations come where despite your best efforts, a combination of your own failings and another�s lack of interest contrive to make you look like a fool. Or feel like one.

I�m facing a big questions just now � in choosing some things I felt I was somehow doing the right thing by another person. My choices have been taken, then taken for granted, and ultimately the goal for which I made those hard choices has been denied.

How do feel in these situations? Have we wasted our efforts, our energies and time? My naturally inclination is to think "well, sod it. What a waste of time".

The Christian hope pervades all elements of human life and emotion. Jesus� resurrection was on the first day of the week, bringing with it the dawn of a new and better age, which will finally be consummated in His return. We live in between this time. In the �now and not yet�.

By degrees, God is working His purpose out. We need a proper perspective on the past, done and assured victory of the cross and the surely to come return of Jesus. If we place too much inference on the Kingdom yet�to-come, we cut ourselves off from the world. To quote NT Wright, if all we have to look forward to Armageddon is coming, then why bother with third world debt, climate change or acid rain? If, conversely, the cross is our only focus, and God is no longer active in the world, we are bound to trying to make the Kingdom come through our own ineffective efforts.

Yet again, there is a middle path, and it�s to be found in 1 Corinthians, chpt 3. Chapter 15, riding on the crest of a wave of a full and glorious description of the resurrection life, of the final coming of Jesus, finishes not with a fanfare of praise, but an exhortation for us to hold firm, immovable, and the assurance that our labours are not in vain.

Our labours are not in vain.

Whatever you do based on the unique, once and for all foundation of the new and living hope, the new age of God laid down in Christ will last. If you build based on the redemption of mankind back into relationship with God, out of the power of the spirit, with prayer, living a life of worship and sacrifice for the sake of Him, you do not labour in vain. It will last. Store up treasures in heaven, in your character and heart.

We are capable of being Kingdom people in the here and now. The more concerned we are with the state of our character, the more like Jesus we become now, the more at home we will be in the future.

So the hope for me � where I have strived to love as Jesus did, where I allowed God to work in me, to teach me, to refine me, where I looked to model trust and love as a choice, I did not labour in vain. I can only hope that at least some fraction of what I experienced and chose was out of that spirit.

For the rest, sinful as I am, God�s not done with me yet. Mercies new every morning. One degree at a time �

Matt

Matt Crossman

derwent_massive@hotmail.com

matt.crossman@rathbones.com

 

Be Prayin

Going through some craziness just now - God needs me to be strong where I am weak and loving where I am hurt. I know apart from Him I have no good thing, and also that where much is required, much is received.

It's amazing that in this mess that God is faithful - two thoughts have been foremost in my mind.

1. The depth of the mystery and delight of the cross. The cross shows me I was bought at a price, that when God suffered he suffered for me, so I must have worth. Whatever I am facing, becoming more like Christ through the power of His death and resurrection will help me in every situation.

"When Satan tempts me to despair, and tells me of the guilt within
Upward I look and see Him there, who made an end to all my sin.
Because the sinless Saviour died / my sinful soul is counted free
For God the just is satisfied to look on Him and pardon me"

2. If we choose to serve God, sometimes we will have to choose to suffer rather than sin. This is the oppsite to how I have been living, choosing to give into sin rather than condiering Jesus and what he endured for me.

"I givgen like a beggar and lived like the rich, crafted myself a more comfortable cross
But what I am called to is deeper than this. You can have my whole life, Jesus have it all"

So like I say, be praying. "We have come to share in Christ if we hold firmly 'til the end the confidence we had at first". As i've writtenm in this blog b4, sometimes to share in Christ is to share His sufferings (2 Corinthians). Choosing to care about what he cares about will break your heart sometimes.

 

Matt

Matt Crossman

 

Googling your way to Christocentricity

When did Christianity books move into self help? see Joel Osteen and 'you best life now' and any number of life aplicatio teachers who promiuse that by their books you will fufill your potential . You will do this, you can do this.

For me recently, there have been two words written by Paul which have enlivened me, refreshed me and comforted me.

These two words come in Romans 8. they are 'God did'.

"What the Law was powerless to do in that it was weakned by the sinful nature, GOD DID by sending His own son in the likeness of sinful man to be a sin offering."

I could go on about the riches of this verse - but my point must come soon. The point is that in this world, God is the initiator, who graciously chooses to use us, to get us involved in His Kingdom work.

"I tell you the truth, the Son can do nothing by himself; he can do only what he sees his Father doing, because whatever the Father does the Son also does."

Jesus is the central action in God's redemptive work in creation. Without Jesus, our mediator, Messiah, High Priest and King, we have no more access to God.

You don't pull yourself up to God; He reaches down to save (he stoops - Psalms)

So - without Jesus, and realising that His work is finished on the cross, complete we reduce discipleship to self empowerment.

So - and this is the point - try downloading the google toolbar which enables you to search a sit for a phrase. Search a few websites from different denominations and see teh results. On one Hillsong networ site I found 16 instances of 'God' , about the same for the names of the pastors, in the twenties for 'potential' and 2 results for Jesus .....and they were for the one entry.

My own church - 68 mentions for God, 16 for Jesus ... 10 for the Holy Sprit

Now I know that there are problems of unfair comparison, particualry due to different levels of detail. But doesn't it point to the theology of the Church? especially as websites are almost a marketing tool to the world, a way to be culturally relevant?

So lets find peace in the finished work of Jesus, while still working out our salvation with fear and trembling. What Loius Giglio calls a 'furious rest '....

Matt

Matt Crossman

Being herded

Bloggin is fun, and sometimes the only thing you can do in a bored spot. Right now i'm sat at a station wiring the sweat from my brow after missioning it across london. Man - i'm never eating veal again, after bein trapped in a carriage with a hundred other people. Note to self: remain in cushy bristol life for a bit longer. matt

Incarnation

Not the second hand automobile users magazine but the theological doctrine that binds the Christian faith together.

This facet of Jesus has been fascinating me recently � I been grasping the truth that the incarnation is and trying to get a song out of it.

Jesus is God � Man. What does this mean for Christians? What is the significance to us that Jesus, the Messiah was God and Man, equally and complementarily? What does this teach us about God that we should be expressing in worship? Two thoughts have really taken root in my head

1. Jesus being a man dignifies the human race. Being born of a woman gives a dignity to the species � Jesus was like us, as were and are. Its as if Jesus being incarnated was a sign that the human body isn�t evil and something to be escaped, but that it works with the spirit to give us wholeness as beings. As Dave M often says, we are creatures as well as Spirit. The human body is some thing Jesus took � and whatever else we think about Jesus, he was sinless. So we see a model of humanity that is bodily - not other earthly or nebulous. If he wasn�t fully human, the power of the cross is hugely reduced. I think of Hebrews, a high priest who was tempted as were, and able to sympathise with our weaknesses. If Jesus hadn�t struggled with His vocation as Messiah (see Gethsemane � asking if there was anyway the cup could have been taken form Him) then he couldn�t sympathise with human struggles.

2. That Jesus was a baby (helpless) and a human (limited and, as a race, with fundamental problems) demonstrates to us something of God�s greatness and humility. That God could stoop down to our level shows us that he could not be reduced, weakened or affected by the stooping. His descent proves his everlasting greatness. He is secure in his reign and glory � not needing to trumpet the descent from the rooftops, but coming in humility to poverty. God is not insecure. God�s doing fine today. He�s doing great today.

The working title for the song is "We worship at the manger: / where God displayed his greatness". I think what�s important with this piece is to not reduce the mystery down to manageable terms, but to present some ideas and give space to wonder at God.

Peace y�all

Matt

Matt Crossman

derwent_massive@hotmail.com

matt.crossman@rathbones.com

Fw: Word

Hey all just tryin something new. Clog or blog? You decide . Just coming back from london where caught up with a few blasts from the past in matt pat and beth w. Lovely people all - drank too much (well, for me. This is not an objective measure) but Hey. Hope you're all well , web. Matt

Christmas number one

should be this

http://www.jcbsong.co.uk

Me and my dad having a top laugh - so true.

Matt Crossman

derwent_massive@hotmail.com

matt.crossman@rathbones.com

07813 750544

Simple encounter

In the sub culture where I dwell (ipods, gigs and tours , funky arty weird) there is a high value placed on creativity. The most damning accusation that can be levelled at a new band is that "they sound just like ..." - the new is what's important, and the new frequently doesn't last more than a year. Note the procession of one album bands recently.

As a lead worshipper and muso, I act like a cultural sponge. I often soak worldly values and then work them out in an implicit manner. I beleive recently that I've swung too far into looking for the new in worship, being disatisfied with my songs if they don't match my wordly song writers head and desire to be cool.

This morning God humbled me, but humbled me with His Love so as to re-assure me and build me up eventually. There are a few songs I dislike because they are a bit cheesey. My ipod scanned to one of these this morning - I would usually skip on, but something began to stir. Then these words

"Now I am forgiven, I have been set free, by the blood of Jesus I have been made clean. Now I know of His mercy, because he died for me, i have been redeemed"

I've been struggling with some stuff - me stuff and relationship stuff. Now I know of His mercy toward sinful little inadequate me.

"My grace is sufficient for you; My power is made perfect in weakness" 2 Cor 12

So this simple little ditty and simple chords ( I V IV V I if your that way inclined, which I am) reached me and allowed god to speak to me.

I had a simple encounter with a truly staggeringly awesome god through a simple song. Tears on my face even, as I stood by the BRI waiting to cross Park row with the rest of Bristol.

Striving for perfection is worthy, but there comes a point when we need to rest from these endeavours and allow the gracious God to meet us where we are.

Matt Crossman

The God of all comfort

Currently in the middle of reading through 2 Corinthians.

I have been really struck with the reality of Paul's life and situation. Too often we see him with historical hindsight as a giant of faith, a semi-human hero of the Christian life for whom life was never a struggle and nothing evry slipped from his grasp.

Well, the reality of this man is quite different. And, in turn, the reality of living for and in Jesus is also quite different from the glorious procession of blessing that some advocate. Paul's claim to know the comfort of god is not an abstract concept. It comes from the deep struggle of a heart longing to serve god, and facing trouble and hardship on all sides, yet finding solace and hope in the presence of his father.

The first chapter begins with Paul reporting un explained troubles in Asia. there is specualtion thjat this may have something to do with the troubles he experienced in Ephesus as documented in Acts, but we aren't sure. What we are sure of is that this situation drove Paul to his lowest ebb, his long night of the soul. It says that he felt the sentence of death within him :

"We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life."

But this is not how it stayed:

"But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead. ¹⁰He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, ¹¹as you help us by your prayers."

If we pretend never to face any troubles, we cannot really find that peace that passess all understanding. Keep your front erected and never let God into the dark places - and they'll stay dark. Only that which is un-confessed cannot be forgiven.

Comfort is not trite, the spiritual equiavlent of a stroke and tea & sympathy. Comfort reaches you where you are, re-orientates you, and gives you renewed hope and vision for the future. It doesn't let you wallow, but refreshes you , lifts you to have another go.

peace Y'all

Matt Crossman

Schadenfreude

Schadenfreude

n : delight in another person's misfortune [syn: Schadenfreude]

Matt Crossman

His story

It all started with a relatively simple prayer. Having revisited some of the teaching from Soul in the City 2004 that i manifestly failed to live out, i began to pray each day as i walk the the three miles to work , "God, take my tiny spec of a breath of a life and merge it into what you're doing today, into your eternal story"

Its only been a week but most days now I get stopped by people in need - it started last thursday when I was driving my car down to the garage to get a new windscreen. Its about 8 am and it is throwing down with rain - seriously crazy weather. Im trying to get out of my tight little road when a car grinds to a halt round the corner - now im late and very pushed for time but I can't not help this woman trying to push AND steer her car into a safe position in the pouring rain - especially when I have such a massive corporate umbrella right next to me. So I jump out and help the best I can, and she's really grateful.

Last tuesday I got stopped in the street for directions and was able to help on my walk to work. this morning I was able to direct a desperate looking young couple to the emergency dental hospital when they stopped me in the street.

So i guess my blog related thought is this: that God is just waiting for us to step into his stuff, to accept His invitation to be set free to serve Him. I'm going to keep praying this prayer and see what happens - maybe i'll get to meet some of these people again someday, and be able to do a little to show them that some people in this world consider serving others not to be menial but to be the most worthy and fitting response to all that they've received.

Peace y'all

Matt

Matt Crossman

Extravagance & costliness

Since returning from worthy farm alot has been spinning round my head. The elemental venue is such an amazing place, primariliy becuase of the huge amount of effort people put into to creating this haven in the mud.

I think of the moronic cow quiz team spending months getting ready for one night only - or Andy and Henrik producing a full on TV programme every night - or Greg and Claire organising everything, or all the team staying on their days off from work to stay up all night taking it all down only to collapse in a heap nursing wounds and scrapes and dreaming .

It doesn't make sense - on a cost benefit analysis it doesnt add up. Why do people do such things?

For me the key is extravagant worship - the whole venue is done for the glory of another, every effot and strain to show poeple what a redeemed, renewed and fulfilled community can acheive ....

So elemental team - thanks for breaking the alabaster jar all over glastonbury!

Matt

Matt Crossman

Glastonbury

another year on the elemental venue has left me tired and aching, but bursting with ideas. It is so amazing to be around creative people for a week. Every year the team gets bigger and more diverse - this year we had more live artists, some Hip Hop MCs and garf artists in addition ot the guys who have been doing healing, dream interpretation and nature based stuff for many years.

Nowhere else on the site has such a mix of poeple. I already miss some members of the team, but get the feel that a community is developing, and that some of you lovely poeple will be part of my real non glastonbury life.

so thanks!

Matt Crossman