Something to ponder

have been researching for a preach at the fuse.

The bonds of addiction are too soft to be felt until they are too strong to be broken.

Nothing

life without coffee is nothing

a band without percussion this sunday could be interesting

What do you do when you someone likes you more than you like them but you still like them ? What do you DO?

These are the imponderables with which I while away the hours

A man's legs need only be long enough to reach the ground.

M

I love church

Pretty straight forward 'blog this.

I did something that was potentially difficult, and in fact turned out to be difficult, but felt I wanted to support someone else who has helped me out on numerous occasions.

And that person did a great job.

Sam , you were spot on.

Philippians 2:3 (New International Version)

3Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.

I love that church is the place where selfish agendas should dissolve. I felt very rubbish this morning until I reminded myself that worship comes in any triumph of the will to serve God over circumstance. You know what? God LOVES costly worship. And you can't out give the giver of life.

I could have very easily stayed in last night feeling pants. But I felt god nudging me to go - so I went, and had the privilege of leading people into God's presence, and then the really amazing chance to just bless one of my housemates when he was being prayed for by Tim.

If only I could learn this lesson ...

'O what peace we often forfeit, O what needless pain we bare  .... all because we do not carry evrythign to God in prayer'

I'm mature honest

Just keep me distracted and I�m OK. I don�t want to engage with the pain right now. Marx claimed that religion was the opiate of the masses. These days I wish it were that simple � I think technologies as they stand today promote isolationism and self centredness. You�re bored? You shouldn�t EVER be bored! Go buy something, go hire someone �

One of the truest definitions of sin is humani incurvatus se (apologies I only got a B in latin) meaning humanity turned in on itself. Our iPod PS2 myspace blogging dominated world can risk promoting that.

I feel like I�ve grown up a lot. I feel much more like a twentysomething rather than a graduate � and it�s a nice feeling. I never bloody liked Uno anyway. I like coffee and dinner and drinks and meeting with friends who make you laugh and having massive discussions about everything. I like going places and doing things and reading things and writing things. My friendship group has shifted too � I�m often the youngest now. I�ve had countless moments over the last 4 months where people have said "24? You�re 24??" and I think they meant it in a good way.

So bring on the baldness. Bring on the pension. Bring on life. BRING IT ON!

Relationships, compromise and the will

I�ve been thinking a lot about this. Where you have two people there are two wills. There will always be a divided opinion. Where those people are selfishly motivated, then the wills will be in opposite directions, causing friction. Rather than enjoying the coming together of wills as a gift, things then slip into petty power plays over who gets more of their own way.

I think if you get into a relationship, you have to be able to be able (sorry for that little verbal clumsiness) to say �my will NOT be done�. And to be ok about that. And how do we get into this state which Eugene Peterson calls �willed passivity�, but by finding that one relationship has been willed by one who desires never change, who�s love never wavers , who�s goodness endures, who�s mercy never fails ..?

Please, let�s all relax. Let�s seek the best for each other, and not be so concerned about our own paths and visions that we miss the opportunity to serve and worship God RIGHT NOW. If Christ is in me, then Christ in a whole bunch of people in Bristol, the UK and the world, and in history.

Ok so I�m angry for a friend right now � no details, but in the guise of being loving the one was demanding huge sacrifices and controlling the other causing emotional and spiritual damage because the guy just can�t relax and stop worrying.

I got news for us all. God�s name, as Loius Giglio tells us form the bible story of Moses before the burning bush, is I AM. Or more precisely, I AM, that I AM, or �Be�. I Be is God�s name.

So I am not. You can go ahead and put anything in front of that. I am not in control, in charge, the saviour of anyone.

Seriously , your four score years and ten are but a breath. Your career is blink in the eye of God. There�s no marriage in eternity, so let�s not get too het up about it now. Its useful , an oh yeah, its great and fantastic too, but the eternal purpose is to make you more like Christ, �cos Christ�s relationship with church is like that of a bride and bridgegroom. It's a gift. Its not essential.

What matters then? Well, everything you do in Christ, based on his foundation. That sure as anything lasts, see the end of 1 cor as we�ve said before here.

Could it be that loving others as yourself is the key to it all?

Matt

I'll have a P please bob ....

DSC00593
Originally uploaded by derwent_massive.

and other reasons why Sam P is a legend!

f**k

I try not to watch big brother, but I was flicking while the OC was on a break (a real area of weakness. I watch little tv that isn't sport or news, but this is the exception), and found someone using the word f**k as an adjective, verb and noun in the same sentence.

The character described as " the Manc-Chinese Wee Jimmy Krankie" screamed yesterday

"why don't you just f**k off, you f**king centre of attention f**k!"

Now, is it just me or does this not make any degree of sense? I could take offence at being called lots of things, but what is a 'F**K', singular? being called a f**king w**ker at least gives me a starting point from which to wonder what a f**king one of these actually is. It's important - you are a f**k means you are sexual intercourse. It's actually quite surreal ... 

I think she is a student. You will meet people in your life who just LOVE swearing, and love the F word so much that they cannot concieve of expressing something as being important and or annoying without reference ot it. See bridget jones ...

Why I was gutted

seen as I seem to be in a phase of revealing partially hidden truths, here goes:

It was about a girl.

Did you need to ask?

Matt

Specifics of the trouble at t'mill

http://business.guardian.co.uk/story/0,,1776282,00.html

This is my organisations press release in response. I can't explain in public why I was in such a bind on monday - suffice it to say I think prayer helped ease the situation. Come find me at church and Ill explain!

Matt

 

Your report on Shell�s AGM (Shell�s critics come back with a vengeance, May 17) omitted to mention the constructive criticism of the oil giant�s performance embodied in the ethical shareholder resolution initiated by the Ecumenical Council for Corporate Responsibility. ECCR�s resolution was tabled with support from 130 shareholders and the World Council of Churches. Besides the better known cases of Sakhalin and the Niger Delta, ECCR was prompted to act by Shell�s conflict with local communities in Ireland over the Corrib gas project. The company has admitted that it played a role in the gaoling of the "Rossport Five" small farmers for contempt of court last year.

ECCR has had dialogue with Shell since 1997, when it brought the first environmental resolution to a UK company AGM. This year our resolution called for improvements in Shell�s governance and performance in reaching agreement with local communities, in its risk and impact assessment, and in using its social responsibility committee.

Shell marginalised ECCR�s resolution, placing it at the end of an otherwise routine agenda and allowing almost four hours to elapse before the item was introduced. Company chairman Aad Jacobs encouraged out-of-order and in one case a blatantly frivolous interruption from the floor before the resolution was voted.

With the onerous legal requirements needed to bring a shareholder resolution in the UK � unlike the ease of the process in the USA - it is no surprise that not one ethical shareholder resolution was brought in the UK in 2005. Nor that many people are increasingly disillusioned with the failures of voluntary `corporate social responsibility� to deliver urgently needed benefits for disadvantaged communities and the environment.

 

Matt Crossman

Trouble at t'mill ...

Guys,

This is a prayer request for me tomorrow. It's quite hard as I can't really say what I'm doing or where until after the event, but it involves work.

Just be thinking of me about 10am 'til two tomorrow, from strength, wisdom and favour, just some Holy Spirit 'luck' with a few things!

Matt

 

One half caff latte and indefinite detention without trial, please

Starbucks has loads of foodservice locations at US military installations.

It has now opened Starbucks Guantanamo bay.

I am speechless.

Though there is something very imposing in the symbol - the US military superpower working hand in hand with the US retail superpower.
M

Dead ringers

DSC00494
Originally uploaded by derwent_massive.

Matt bee and joel - very scarily accurate portrayal.

Gutted

Gutted.

This is such a great word. Satisfying to say, fantastically apt , almost onamatepoeic in its description.

Right now I feel gutted. Dissaspointed doesn't quite cut it. Miffed is too twee - who says miffed these days in any case? Its only one step from miffed to drat and bother, and then you may as well consign yourself to years of cultural anachronism.

Neither will dashed or bothered do. Gutted it is, and always shall be.

Gutted suggest a down spiral of the orchestra of your life's soundtrack, circling downward, ever downward as the wheels fall off your plans. When the weight of expectation and excitement was too much to bear, to have it taken from you , you think, hey , that was mine!

I think its a geographical thing. Gutted feels gutted because you feel it in your stomach. And in the upper chest. Its like a strange, uncomfortable electricty bubbling just beneath the surface. Hopes dashed . Guuuted. Must resist urge to drink plenty of London pride with gutted ex home office workers.

Matt

Some wisdom from Micah

at various times over the months Ben and I have sparred and agreed about word of faith and other veils for the prosperity gospel.

Ben raised the question - "How do word of faith preachers account for the beattitudes?"- encouraging me to seek some biblical perspectiev. I was reading Micah this morning and it really throws some light on the issue.

Firstly, Micah is a prophet, a covenant enforcement mediator, so sometimes when he preaches, he preaches God's right anger against injustice. We get the feeling that some don't like his negative words:

6"Don't preach," say the preachers.

    "Don't preach such stuff.

    Nothing bad will happen to us.

    7Talk like this to the family of Jacob?

    Does GOD lose his temper?

    Is this the way he acts?

    Isn't he on the side of good people?

    Doesn't he help those who help themselves?"

To which Micah replies :

"What do you mean, "good people'!

    You're the enemy of my people!

    You rob unsuspecting people

    out for an evening stroll.

    You take their coats off their backs

    like soldiers who plunder the defenseless.

And then, the clincher:

11If someone showed up with a good smile and glib tongue

    and told lies from morning to night--

    "I'll preach sermons that will tell you

    how you can get anything you want from God:

    More money, the best wines . . . you name it'--

    you'd hire him on the spot as your preacher!

Read on to chapter 6 and 7 for what god will do after his discipline has been shown. You can''t shortcut your way to harvest and seasons of much and richness, through your best life now or spekaing words of faith into your life. - sometimes the only way is through a cold hard winter, where you are refined, threshed and purified, strengthened in your resolve to follow God. See 4:7 and 4:13, then 7:8 to the end. I'm down, but not out ...

M

Name: Matt Crossman. Specialist Subject: The bleeding obvious

*caution! Geeky rant follows*

Now I don’t wish to be overly critical here, but some things happen in your life that make you want To Scream – on this occasion with the sheer condescension shown by the advertisers of this world.

Exhibit A: Tesco black peppercorns. This, for the culinary challenged is pepper. Plain ol’ common or garden pepper. I know what pepper is. I would wager that around 100% of people are also vaguely familiar with the concept.

The Tesco product informs the consumer that the mystery product carries “A strong and spicy flavour”.

Or, to put it more succinctly, it tastes peppery ….

What next? “clear, refreshing and versatile” for a bottle of water? “Light bulbs – bringing the day to night – Tonight!! “Creamy and succulent dairy juice, ideal for all your breakfast needs, incredible compliment to any hot beverage!!!” ? I’m getting sick of this. What kind of moron do they think wanders into Tesco’s wondering, ‘say what are those little black dealies over there by the salt shelves, I wonder what they taste like?”. You can’t package pepper as a new and exotic condiment – but it scares me that there were probably several over paid advertising execs who had all nighters discussing the next big pepper push, how they are passionate about its spicy and fiery flavours … passionate about pepper. Scary.

Please, everyone, lets encourage free thinking and self discovery. I’m meeting some guys from Tesco on Friday, will be sure to bring it up with them ….

Church and cash

http://business.guardian.co.uk/story/0,,1762127,00.html

Just FYI if you want to understand a bit of what I do. Personally, having been involved in getting a shareholder resolution for Shell regarding their difficultues in Ireland, Nigeria and Sakhalin, am suprised by some of the biggest holdings.

The church commissioners is where the whole ethical investment gig kicked off -http://oxcheps.new.ox.ac.uk/casebook/Resources/HARRIE_1%20DOC.pdf well, that and the Quakers (Stewardship fund being the longest running ethical fund).

It raises questions about emphasis - legally, investment managers cannot be forced to follow a positive agenda if they are to fulfil their fiduciary duty. But if the church comisisoners can care so much about Caterpillar and their activities in Palestine, can't they see the human rights implications of holding the big mining companies?

Last week I heard the phrase 'sustainable mining'. Without wishing to oversimplify, that's just not possible!

Hmmm

Im a geek, so sue me

Matt

PS Ben - patience, dear boy

primary 1 x 1

Square one is a real old friend for me, having been back here on a number of occasions. I am now well versed in its dimensions, in space and time. Smoking a cigar with a whisky and staring into the harbour on the Isle of Wight I felt all my strength fall from me.

Just when you think you've got somewhere, some sideswipe will knock you off course - whether real or imagined. 

Living life is learning to dwell in square one with contentment, or at least without fear. What have you built there? What did you leave there from last time? I don't find solace in detail. Give me something with substance and purpose.

PS Ben I know my next post was supposed to be about Seeker friendliness. It will come!

Matt Crossman

derwent_massive@hotmail.com

matt.crossman@rathbones.com

 

This was stunningly good

The Manchester Passion on bbc 3 - catch it on teleport if you're posh.

They had this massive lightbox shaped as the cross which was carried through the streets of manchester, very powerful symbol.

I love it when stuff like thsi represents Christianity, you know, well.

My only slight gripe would be that they didn't do the execution scene in public buit behind closed doors, as that was what would've happened today. we do our dirty work away from prying eyes. I reckon that that power of the cross is that it seems like Jesus was made a public spectacle of, a broken, bedraggled weak and puny rebel at the hands of the all powerful Rome. in fact Jesus was making a public spectacle of the powers of darkness, triumphing over them (Collosians somewhere).

Jesus said when I am lifted up I will draw all men unto myself - in the Manchester Passion he wasn't 'lifted up'.

BUT it was still absolutely great. I loved it when the risen Jesus was seen at the top of manchester town hall screaming 'I am the resurection and I am the life' by the stone Roses.

M

The research desk

The research disk
Originally uploaded by derwent_massive.

This is where I work. Chaos

Can you have ....

... communion without Jesus? For this is exactly what we had as I visited my friend's church this sunday morning. Here is how the first part of service went:

Worship with some songs, that nobody seemed massively into. A few folk raise hands, most gazed around wondering where the coffee was. Same song for 10 minutes. God really is FOREVER strong ... then we all were told to grab a piece of wool and make a web in our small groups, with a bigger thread linking us all together. Kinda cool - but took too long!

Anyway - then one of the pastors read out a 2 page collection of thoughts about community living which was a little odd. Imagine someone who had pasted 5 blog entries together.

Then , literally, these were the words . Now we're going to have communion. The bread and wine are at the sides. let's have a moment of quiet. Then people went up and took bread and wine. well, grape juice.

And that was it.

No mention of jesus. No mention of the cross. No mention of the core act of remembrance and coummunity expressed. . . if you were a visitor and didn't knwo anything about church, what would you have felt? this is just some poeploe eating bread and drinking grape juice in silnece when there's doughnuts over there. then we alll break for the doughnuts. maybe its something to remind us all about poverty.

What was especially strange was that the talk afterwards was a fantastically deep yet accesible discussion of what the cross means, especially in realtion to final victory over the powers and kingdoms.

After hearing all that, the first thing I wanted to do was take communion!

M