LBF ramblings part one

It always was going to be an interesting week – though I guess I never fully expected anything other than to be joining in with what God was doing, and to be grateful for whatever part I was invited to play.

I reckon this week has been a significant one for me personally – particularly on Thursday when I felt very very looked after and cared for by God. I literally couldn’t go anywhere that day without people wanting to pray for and with me for a few things.

Leading in the mornings was just an amazing privilege - and thank goodness that temperatures fell from their peak on Wednesday: we don’t need 1m wide pools of sweat at our feet every time we lead worship thank you very much. Things really peaked on Saturday morning with some facedown humbling before Jesus going on, and I reckon that people were linking the faithfulness God was showing out in the streets to what they experience personally. Result: very easy to lead people in worship. Pride is the biggest thing that stops us worshipping God, and gratitude is the soil in which pride cannot easily grow.

On the pride thing – needed to hear that message Thursday night. What things in your life god is asking you to do is your pride stopping you doing? Woh. Prayed that God would show me what I needed to do as I laid down my pride and asked him in again, and my phone rang RIGHT then with someone I REALLY needed to be honest with, just before they flew to Bolivia for a month. Awesome.

You know what? God loves it when we give stuff away. Its not ours, after all. We’re not called to hoard kingdom things for ourselves. On Saturday yfriday were leading worship – 7 years ago a me with much more hair and only two months guitar experience was asked to lead one song in the middle of a seminar by Yfriday – the first time I ever lead worship anywhere. And seven years later I’m leading at the same festival; God is just incredible! Big up to Ken for inspiring me in the way these things should be; our success is judged by our successors.

Word and shout out to Shon who continues to amaze me with his dedication and sacrifice in the hardest time.

I really think working together has brought us fuse peeps closer,

I sensed something for the longterm on the way home last night – I felt something of a stranger in my own neck of the woods. Hmm. Maybe some late night driving and praying is needed.

Matt

sayonara sweetheart

well i guess this is it for a few days. I have so much going through my head, my phone hasn;t stopped ringing though I guess its nothign compared with G&hOLLY AND smiffy

i hope to emerge unscathed to bring som funky stuff down for Benwedding

matt

I may be sometime ...

Appreciate all of y’all’s prayers next week. God has been providing for me all over the place – like my boss giving me three days off as paid leave for community work after being flyered at Christ Church – and I’m getting nicely excited at the prospect and the privilege of leading the LBF crew into God’s presence to thank and enjoy him for He has done and yet to do.

Every morning I will be leading some worship with Hannah Atkins alongside Philip Jinadu speaking in the big top. Should be awesome.

Anways – I’ll be living with Caddick and James at their pad in south Bristol for the week, which will be very cool, again another unexpected blessing.

However, I am in the middle of a bit of slump in motivation and productivity, I really don’t feel on it at all. I’m trying to settle down in my life, but something in me is screaming for new things, to move on and face new challenges.

Although I feel that to stick things out for another chunk of time in Bristol is actually the mature thing to do. It might be hard, and there are certainly more exciting things to go and do, and easier ways to deal with ongoing fractured relationships. But I feel God is calling me to trust in him no matter what; Jesus is the Pearl, I keep reminding myself. God didn’t promise me a nice job and nice friends and a role in church in exchange for my loyalty. He offers me the pearl of great price if I ‘liquidate my assets ‘ for Him. I need the joy of my salvation restored to me. Above all else I feel there is work yet to do, and a Matt shaped hole in the Kingdom work in this city. I have the loving support of some fantastic leaders and mentors who I trust – and I feel looked after and challenged constantly. I remind myself it hasn’t always been this way in my life, and I am very grateful.

Its probably a sign of my discomfort and desire to run away that I’m not really abounding in love or good works just at the minute. Hopefully next week will change that.

Final word: Giving thanks is a worthy thing to be looking to do all the time – thanksgiving and gratitude are the soil in which pride does not easily grow.

Word to ur muthas and bruvas

Things move on

I am no longer an assistant, but an ethical researcher in my own right.

This feels very good and very odd. In my head I'm still twenty; in reality im nearer twenty five.

The hair is going on the weekend.

Matt

mantra

PAST≠FUTURE

Venting: Pros and Cons

I have been in some proper moods with myself this week. Letting myself and God down fairly regularly, then suddenly being graciously lifted. It's all very odd.

Anyways - I vented my frustrations at myself at others. Firstly some music friends , then over at the Kollektiv.

The thing is, I don't really regret it. I've been superficially dealing with some stuff that runs deep - this way has exposed those things to the light.

I was praying and worshipping with Marts yesterday - which has been a quality little God initiated thing in any case - and before he came round I don’t think my bedroom curtains had been open in a week or so, and my room was a state.

So I tidied up and let the gorgeous evening sun in, and we had a quality time just looking to God and sharing our hopes and fears. But it was an image of what God wants to do in my heart - pull back the curtains, let the light in and He'll inspire you to do some tidying up. My room has too often been the place of secrecy; whilst everyone needs time and space to themselves, more hours than not have been spent in there just doing nothing feeling low.

Two things to finish; read James 1 this morning. Perseverance must finish its work in you, a very timely reminder. Secondly , God is not in the business of crushing people. A bruised reed He will not crush and smouldering wick he will not snuff out. Actually, a broken heart and a contrite spirit are the sacrifices of God.

Bless you my brethren; Biscuits are proof that god our Father loves us and has given us eternal comfort and a wonderful hope.

M

My two pence on the nuclear debate

I am not so profoundly anti-nuclear as some I encounter, even if naming the technology 'Carbon neutral generation' is a false statement, and even though the private sector will fund the new build and then mysteriously be short of cash having given it all back to shareholders once it comes to decommissioning and thus the Government WILL bear the clean up costs ....

My real problem is this. You don't give a dying man a nice pain killer so that he can continue harming himself - similarly nuclear is like giving a dying man a pain killer. The assumption will be made that 'we've solved climate change' by building more nuclear power plants. I'll bet money that CO2 emissions will increase as a result of this decision.

Far better to invest the hideously large sums of cash being planned for nuclear new build and Trident replacement on incentives for microgeneration and offshore renewables. It would have sent a message too - a message that this is serious problem.

Matt

Look, things CAN change

All US military detainees, including those at Guantanamo Bay, are to be treated in line with the minimum standards of the Geneva Conventions.
The White House announced the shift in policy on Tuesday, almost two weeks after the US Supreme Court ruled that the conventions applied to detainees.

President Bush had long fought the idea that US detainees were prisoners of war entitled to Geneva Convention rights.

The defence department outlined the new policy to staff in an internal memo.

Weekend always get me thinking

A wise man once said that you should act your shoe size and not your age.

I am feeling a little off about my age just now - see the Kollektiv for details - but suffice it to say that I seem to have acquired some qualities and roles of someone a bit older than me.

Which begs the question - where have all the qualities of Matt the 24 year old come from if Matt the 29 year old is what people EXPECT me to be when they meet me? Do poeple have an idealised notion of themselves and others which dictates their expectation of age raltive to the impression they gain from conversations?

I'd like to meet the eleven year old who used the phrase 'idealised notions' ...

Oh wait ; that was me

At this point let us allow the wisdom of Aristotle to intervene

"It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims"

Has the world gone utterly stark raving bonkers?

Exhibit A

Musicians include Geraldine Latty, Andy Flannigan, Matt Crossman, Cathy Burton, 29th Chapter, Titus, YFriday, LZ7 and many more

Hmmm. Not sure Andy Flan and the rest of these more than competent artists will be all that happy about sharing a bill with me

My Lovely Housemate Julian and His brand gullibility

Julian is, in many respects, the perfect housemate. Kind, gentle, generous, an amazing chef and man of God.

However Julian likes to buy new and exciting versions of exisitng brands. They are magic to him, sparkling with excitement and 'brave new world' possibility.

However, frequently these new brands are, quite honestly dreadful.

Exhibit A: Muller yogurt Cheesecake flavours. Very nice on their own, when flavoured with aneamic and salty bits of biscuit, awaful

Exhibit B. Lemon and Lime Jaffa ckes: Leaving aside the great nevil road jaffa controversy (cake or biscuit?) these are truly, momumentally disgusting in every way. Not only do they test ones intestinal fortitude, they pollute the entire biscuit tin with their foul odour. a disaster.

However in Julians favour

Exhibit C: The milk chocolate caramel hobnob: Delectable.

Honestly, if it aint broke don't fix it

Tantatlising personal revelations need not apply

Why is it you can feel inexplicably lonely in the middle of all your friends?

Why do people say one thing and do another?

Why can you never trust your own judgement when it comes to matters of the heart?

Going into worship on Sunday night all these thoughts were warring away and making me feel stuck. After a pretty amazing night and a good chat with Chazzle on the way to Thornbury I started to think about God’s faithfulness – there truly is NONE like Him: none so loyal; none so pure hearted; none so encouraging.